Reflections from a midlife journey
Learning to live a deliberate life
Our always-on, 24x7 culture leaves little room for actually living. Doing the things that fill your soul, make your heart sing, and connect you with your essential self—who you are underneath all the social expectations and cultural conditioning. In other words, doing the things that not only bring you to life but also give you life.
Wintering the soul—a season of self-love
Loving yourself should not be an afterthought, something you do after you’ve taken care of everyone else, or something you have to earn. The truth is that when you are filled up with your own love, you have more of it to give. And there’s no better time to practice the art of self-love than winter. It is the perfect season for turning inward and tending the space within.
Ring in the true
The last month or two of 2021 had me feeling very scattered and manic energetically. Poor sleep, an overactive mind (even more so than usual), relentless hot flashes, and a recurring rash told me my nervous system needed a break. I wanted—I needed—some quiet to calm my system so I could once again hear the whispers of my soul.
A blessing for the new year
For some days now, I feel like there has been much I want to say. It’s been percolating beneath the surface. Try as I might, though, I can’t put the words together. They’re just not there … yet.
Instead, I’m sharing this passage about endings from John O’Donohue’s To Bless the Space Between Us. It feels particularly relevant given the year that’s been.
The choice is yours
People pleasing vs. integrity and authenticity. It’s an ongoing struggle, especially if you’re highly sensitive and empathic. And yet if you resist making the difficult choice, at some point, the choice will be made for you. Chances are you may not like the outcome.
The longing for enjoyment
During a recent morning meditation, there was a moment in which I experienced a deep longing for enjoyment. I don’t believe the longing was because my life is lacking in enjoyment. I think the longing was my soul’s way of nudging me to recognize the pleasure I do experience. Something I can’t know simply by thinking about it. The only way I can truly know whether something brings me pleasure is to focus on how it feels in my body. Because therein lies the truth.
Removing the mask
In one way or another, for one reason or another, we all do it. We hide. And the way many of us hide is by being busy.
It’s easy to hide behind the guise of busyness. It’s socially acceptable and in many ways it’s expected. Busy is the yardstick by which our culture measures our value and we in turn use to measure our own worth.
Pushing the edge
The pace of life + cultural conditioning makes it easy to forget ourselves. That's why we need reminders and nudges to wake us up and help us connect with our souls and the truth of who we are. When you are actively pushing against this edge, evolving into a newer, more expansive version of you, you need support. A lot of support.
Let yourself be changed
On April 30, my husband and I marked our five year “Bendiversary”—the day we moved from California and became Oregon residents. The years feel like they have passed in a flash. Some days it doesn’t feel like much at all has changed in those five years. But when I stop and reflect, I can see that so much has changed—namely, me.
In your own time
This is my least favorite time of year, the transition from winter to spring. (Or “sprinter,” as I call it.) Just because the calendar says it’s spring, doesn’t make it so. I didn’t wake up the morning after the vernal equinox to find the landscape transformed—the trees fully leafed and buds all abloom.
Transition and transformation don’t work like that—in nature or in life.