Pushing the edge

I talk a lot about space, tending the space within and creating space for you. The work I do (for myself and others) is all about knowing yourself better, whether that's remembering some truth about yourself that you've forgotten or discovering a new truth.

The pace of life + cultural conditioning makes it easy to forget ourselves. That's why we need reminders and nudges to wake us up and help us connect with our souls and the truth of who we are so we can do our work in the world.

As I get closer to launching the Allowing Prayers card deck out into the world, my ego has been wreaking havoc, creating obstacles emotionally, physically, and energetically. Because of this, I've had to reschedule the photo shoot for the card deck twice—once because of a sprained wrist and another time because of an ear infection.

These were no mere accidents or coincidences.

I have never sprained a wrist before (or anything else, for that matter), and it's probably been 30 years (at least) since I've had an ear infection. These incidents were my ego’s way of keeping me safe by hindering my attempts to put myself “out there” where it’s dangerous to show up as your authentic self. My ego was desperately trying to maintain the comfortable and familiar status quo because change is SCARY.

Last Sunday was my second rescheduled date for the photo shoot. My ear was still annoyingly plugged and my hearing muffled, and my neck and trap/shoulder started to seize up as I was getting ready. Still, I was determined to make that photo shoot. (By the way, this neck/trap/shoulder seizing issue hasn’t happened in a few years—not since my last big life change. Again, no coincidence.)

Admittedly, though, I wasn’t feeling like myself. I certainly wasn’t feeling as good as I wanted to given the activity at hand.

As I got in my car to drive to the photo shoot, I remembered a song I used to play repeatedly during and after my divorce. It became a personal anthem for me. A reminder of who I am and what I deserve; a reminder that I’m worthy just as I am.

Before I drove off, I found the song on my phone and played that puppy on repeat all the way to my destination. The song brought tears to my eyes. “Tears of truth” my first coach called them. That song created the space I needed to remember me—the truth of me.

Here’s the thing: When you are actively pushing against your edge, evolving into a newer, more expansive version of you, you need support. A lot of support. And you will probably need different kinds of support at different times during a growth phase.

Support can look like the compassionate and nonjudgmental ear of a good friend, energy healing, bodywork, a life coach or therapist (or both), ancestral work, exercise, music—or all of the above and then some. Anything that helps you come back to your soul self and remember you.

I have needed and reached out for all manner of support the past couple of months as I get closer to releasing the card deck. On Sunday, that song supported me in accomplishing the next step on this journey, having photos taken of the card deck and me for my website and other marketing activities. Although I didn’t feel 100%, I was able to show up, be present, and be me. In the end, that’s all that really matters. Whenever I can do that, I consider it a success.

What kinds of support have helped bring you back to yourself in the past when pushing against a growth edge?

I recommend making a list and keeping it somewhere accessible so you can refer to it the next time you need some support.