Reflections from a midlife journey
Having the courage to quit
Much like the trees in autumn, letting go for me is a slow process. Bit by bit, though, I let go of those things whose time has passed. This is how letting go has always worked for me.
Letting go is hard even when it’s your decision to quit. It’s even harder when you’re letting go of a part of yourself.
The surprising obstacle standing in my way
During my down time last month, I started asking for guidance and paying attention to the signs and messages that showed up. In the quiet, one message came through loud and clear: I had too many open loops—projects, tasks, and ideas—and these loops were draining me of the energy I needed to move forward. I also kept getting the message that there was an obstacle blocking my way. However, I couldn’t see it as such because it had become part of my landscape—familiar and beloved.
Finding freedom in the slowness of the season
I have a complicated relationship with winter. On the one hand, I look forward to and welcome it every year for the permission it gives me to slow down and turn inward. On the other hand, there are times during winter when I feel anything but free. I know the real restriction comes from within me—a thought, a belief, or a story I’m telling myself that makes me feel stuck. I know that I am in some way limiting myself.
Pressing pause
I have been paying particular attention to the trees this season, which have been reminding me how slow the process of change and letting go really is. Like the trees, I still am moving slowly through my own transition. However, a couple things have become a more clear, and I’m a little surprised by the revelations.