Reflections from a midlife journey
Learning to live with death
It’s been quite the month and didn’t turn out at all as I had anticipated. Even though July tends to be a rough month for me, I was looking forward to what lay ahead. Perhaps I was lulled into a false sense of confidence because, last year, July passed with relative ease.
But no. This year, the July funk hit early and hard. The July 4th holiday was one of the most melancholy I’ve experienced. By the 5th, though, the funk already seemed to be passing, much to my relief. That relief was short-lived.
Finding freedom in the slowness of the season
I have a complicated relationship with winter. On the one hand, I look forward to and welcome it every year for the permission it gives me to slow down and turn inward. On the other hand, there are times during winter when I feel anything but free. I know the real restriction comes from within me—a thought, a belief, or a story I’m telling myself that makes me feel stuck. I know that I am in some way limiting myself.
Why do we do this?
I was having a conversation with a friend recently, and I was suddenly struck by how often we as women, and humans in general, downplay our pain. Maybe the issue isn’t just that we downplay our pain, but that we also don’t allow ourselves to acknowledge the moments of everyday grief that come with living this human life.