Reflections from a midlife journey
Learning to live a deliberate life
Our always-on, 24x7 culture leaves little room for actually living. Doing the things that fill your soul, make your heart sing, and connect you with your essential self—who you are underneath all the social expectations and cultural conditioning. In other words, doing the things that not only bring you to life but also give you life.
Removing the mask
In one way or another, for one reason or another, we all do it. We hide. And the way many of us hide is by being busy.
It’s easy to hide behind the guise of busyness. It’s socially acceptable and in many ways it’s expected. Busy is the yardstick by which our culture measures our value and we in turn use to measure our own worth.
All you are
We often say that someone is “a good person.” But what does that mean, really? We’ve come to use “good” as a general catch-all for traits we admire or deem desirable—loyal, helpful, kind, selfless, generous, etc. Whatever your definition of good is, it has been shaped by outside influences, namely other people’s expectations and preferences.
Deserving a life I love
Here’s what I know to be true based on my life’s journey and experience:
You matter. You are worthy of the life you want. You deserve a life you love.
Feel the love
Avoiding the present is a way of distracting ourselves from our feelings. We don’t just distract ourselves from negative feelings, though. We distract ourselves from the positive feelings too. In fact, I believe we distract ourselves more often from positive feelings like love, appreciation, and joy. For many of us, these positive feelings are more uncomfortable than negative feelings. Why is that?
Be the innkeeper of your soul
When a prospective new client noted that she didn’t feel like she was a good innkeeper of her soul, I was curious. What did it mean to her that she isn’t a good innkeeper of her soul? And so I asked her. Then it occurred to me: What does being the innkeeper of your soul mean to me? It is, after all, the thing I’ve been talking about for awhile