Filling the well
I’m going to go out on limb here and hazard a guess that you give … a lot … but to everyone and everything else but yourself. It is a common misconception that giving to others is selfless while giving to ourselves is selfish. However, I have learned that if my personal well is running dry, I have very little to give to others.
Early last week, I gave myself a day off—a day off from all the shoulds, the long list of to do’s, and the scheduled commitments (all of which were optional). I had been feeling on the verge of a meltdown for a couple days; a sure sign that my well was running dangerously low. The last straw that morning was walking full stride into the foot of our bed. I could feel the tears of anger and frustration well up. I recognized the sign. The message was “Stop!”
Right then I gave myself permission to do just that. My life and my coaching practice would survive without me for one day, though the pull to always be working to get my fledgling business off the ground is strong. I knew that if I didn’t give myself some time and space to just be and follow my heart, whatever I gave to my life and business would be from a place of half-hearted obligation, not willing spirit.
So I took myself to coffee and enjoyed some time journaling. Then I bought myself an early birthday present—some pretty glasses I had had my eye on for months, which necessitated some clearing out of the old to make space for the new. There was a nap, maybe two. Oh, and there was absolutely no media--social or otherwise.
By the end of the day, I felt more grounded and had more peace, more energy, more hope, and more love. My well was full again and ready to spill over into other areas of my life, including my loved ones, my business, my friends, and my clients.
My niece once mentioned that what she had learned from me was the difference between selfishness and self-preservation. It’s a lesson I think we all need to learn or be reminded of: The more we give to ourselves, the more we have to give to others.
