Knowing is enough

I get asked two questions regularly …

What made you decide against the B&B?

and

How did you know you wanted to be a life coach?

In fact, I was asked one of these questions just recently while having dinner with old friends who were visiting from out of town. My response was, as it usually is, “I just knew.” It’s been almost two years since I made that decision—or that decision made me, depending on how you look at it. You would think I’d have a more compelling answer by now. Intuition is hard to explain. 

Then one day last week, completely out of the blue, the answer started coming to me. And as it turns out, the answers to why not a B&B and why life coaching are related.

After Todd and I moved into our new home in Bend, I went about the business of setting it up. I was picking paint colors, furniture, linens, etc.—all with the future B&B in mind. What I came to realize was that I was doing this all, creating a home, for someone else ... not me. 

When I had the revelation that the B&B was not my path, and as so often happens with me, I got clarity first on what I didn't want. I didn’t want to wait on people. I didn’t want my days to be about meeting the whims and needs of others. And I didn’t want my life to be all about creating someone else’s experience. 

I had already done a lot of that in my adult life. What I learned over the years is that serving others in that way doesn’t create true connection, which is one of my core values and something I crave. I knew, then, that running a B&B wouldn't be fulfilling for me. 

There was an essence of being an innkeeper, though, that still appealed to me. Creating a comfortable and inviting space for others to gather gives me great pleasure. And although I didn’t want to be responsible for others’ experiences, I very much like meeting people where they are and supporting their experience while staying true to mine. I wanted to serve but not be a servant.

And that’s exactly what I do as a life coach. I provide a comfortable and inviting space where others can reconnect with their true self and create the life they want for themselves. And I support them in that experience. 

Just like my experience with the B&B and life coaching, there are many times when we know what we know and don’t necessarily know why—or don’t know the why. Unfortunately, through our culture, we’ve been taught that we need to provide a solid reason for our decisions.

Here’s the thing: You don’t need to know why. Just knowing is enough. And it’s your business—no one else’s. 

I get it, though. When someone questions a decision you’ve made, not being able to articulate why isn’t very satisfying for you or the inquirer. The missing why creates a void that begs to be filled with an answer or justification. If you can rest in knowing that “I just know” is enough, it leaves space for the why to reveal itself. And it will because it always does.