Reflections from a midlife journey
The illusion of separation
Of all the things that can keep us stuck in our lives, the belief that we are alone in our experiences can stop us dead in our tracks. Believing we are alone not only keeps us separate from other people but also, and most importantly, it keeps us separate from our true self.
Faith and fear in transition
I recently returned to my home state of California. This time, though, it felt different. It didn’t feel like my present. Instead, it felt decidedly like my past. What surprised me was how OK I felt about this. The shift was a welcome feeling, like I had finally let go of some part of my past that was keeping me stuck.
I choose me
Throughout my life I had been pressured to be different than how I was. In one way or another, who I was wasn’t good enough, didn’t measure up, or didn’t fit in. For a long time I resisted, which caused no end of frustration to those who thought I should be different. I fought the good fight for decades but over time, after giving in a little here and giving up a littler there, my battle lines had been severely compromised. I was exhausted from the fight and I gave in.
Inch by inch
I went into October feeling antsy, dissatisfied, and easily frustrated—a bit uncomfortable in my own skin. I know these feelings. When they surface is usually when I start thinking I need to get out of town. I need a change of scenery. My desire really isn’t to escape my physical surroundings but to escape my internal expansion.