Reflections from a midlife journey
Finding some peace this season
When I allow for space, I allow awareness and awareness is everything. Because with awareness comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes liberation. And where you’ve achieved liberation, you’ll find peace.
Tend the body first
In our culture, we do an abysmal job of respecting our bodies. We treat them like servants when in fact they’re benevolent sages. Unfortunately, we rarely take the time to listen to and heed their wisdom.
I know why. Because doing so often means doing the opposite of how we’ve been conditioned. And that scares the shit out of us because we fear “falling behind.”
Evolution of a vision
One of my desires for this year was to find something creative and fun. Although writing is my go-to creative outlet, it’s often related to my work or a means of self-discovery. I wanted to engage in something just for me that didn’t have an agenda and that I wouldn’t care whether it was any good.
Experience desired
I cannot count the times over the years that I have unconsciously tried to control someone else’s experience, always with the best of intentions and always at the expense of my own experience. Making sure things were “just so” for others meant I put my own experience on the back burner. Worse, that meant others didn’t get to experience me—the authentic me—because I was too busy tending to their experience.
A cry for love
I went into last month feeling heavy and burdened. After taking on a lot of new things over the summer, I felt like I just wanted a month off. I was feeling squeezed, constrained, and lifeless. Some things that started from a place of joy no longer felt that way. I couldn’t remember why I was doing them; only that I should. I began looking around desperately for anything that would make it all—make me—feel better.
The gift of time
As I sat against a tree, what rose up in me was my concern over time. “There’s never enough of time. Time is running out. How can I get more time?” are some of the fears my lizard brain plays on repeat. What specifically welled up in me was my fear about time where my husband Todd is concerned.