Rest

I recently visited with some girlfriends while in the Bay Area a couple weeks ago. As we were catching up, one thing struck me: They’re both tired. Actually, that’s an understatement. They’re exhausted. It’s no wonder, between kids, work, travel, school commitments, aging parents, home remodeling projects, and on and on. Sound familiar?

Shortly before seeing my girls, I shared a quote on Facebook:

Give yourself permission to stop. There’s healing and beauty in the pause. 
– Michelle Maros

Not surprisingly, this quote seemed to resonate with a lot of folks. Although most people know they need and want to rest, if you were to ask them why they don’t, the answer would most likely be “I don’t have time.” 

Maybe the solution lies in the quote above. Perhaps it would be easier to give ourselves permission to rest if we didn’t think of it as a full stop, but instead think of it simply as a pause. A pause in your day to get out of your mind and into your body; to reconnect with your essential self. 

The other key is to think in terms of turtle steps. You don’t need a big chunk of time in order to rest. A small amount of time experienced more frequently is just as nourishing for your body and soul, perhaps more so. A turtle step of rest means an amount of time so small you can’t justify not doing it. The time it takes to …

• Take three deep belly breaths while sitting in your car before walking into the house after work

• Go outside and feel the sun on your face for a couple minutes before your next meeting 

• Bust a move to your favorite dance song when you feel that afternoon slump come on

• Do a 3-minute meditation after cleaning up from dinner before helping the kids with their homework

• Read a favorite poem or passage that inspires you

Anything that takes you out of your mind and into your body will work. 

Filling the well
Here’s the paradox about rest. Most of us think we have too much to do to even consider resting. However, the reality is that you’ll get so much more done if you do rest, or pause a time or two during your day. 

My friend and classmate Jonathan Foxwell said it beautifully: “When the well is full, no one worries about spilt water.”

When you have nothing left, when you have run your well dry, you can’t possibly give to others the way you would like. You need to fill your well first. When you take care of yourself and your well, your soul, is overflowing, you have so much more to give to others. Your energy and attention will spill over to those around you with virtually no effort. 

But when you're so accustomed to running on empty much of the time, how can you tell it's time to pause and give yourself a break? You'll recognize it as a sense of pushing through to finish one more thing to justify your desire for rest. Newsflash: You don't need to earn rest. Your deserving is inherent in your humanness. When you sense that familiar pushing feeling, walk away—either literally or figuratively— and pause. 

‘Tis the season
No one is busier than Mother Nature and even she devotes an entire season to rest—winter. Many of us feel that pull to go inside, cocoon, and rest during this season. It’s our bodies’ way of letting us know it’s time to lay bare and replenish ourselves. However, for us humans, winter also happens to be one of the busiest times of year with the holidays. This conflict between what our essential self knows it needs and what our social self tells us we should do only drains the well further. 

As winter approaches, I invite you to consider how you can create small moments of time in your day to pause and rest—whatever rest looks like to you. It’s the best gift you can give yourself anytime of year.